Breakups are never easy. It’s common to get overwhelmed with what went wrong in the relationship that led to the split. Thoughts about what we did to contribute to the demise and focusing on all the things our partner did wrong begin to overtake our thoughts. As a result, we start to think, “They didn’t try hard enough” or “This is all their fault” or “They should have communicated with me better”. Then we begin to blame ourselves too, “I should have done things differently” or “Why couldn’t I be the person my partner would fight for?” How can we use gratitude to move on from a breakup?
These unhealthy thoughts ruminate in our minds over and over again, preventing us from fully processing important details we need in order to move on. Therefore, we lose sleep over these thoughts and we start losing a sense of self as our identity went from being a partner in a relationship to being single.
There are some things that we can do to make the moving on process easier. One of the hardest, yet cathartic, ways is to find things that you were grateful for in the relationship. Here’s how to use gratitude to move on from a breakup.
The Power of Gratitude
During the breakup process, we can get caught up with our emotions or all the things that went wrong. There are a time and place for unpacking what didn’t work in the relationship. However, it’s usually after you reached a certain level of acceptance and understanding. Using gratitude as a strategy to heal in order to move on from your breakup will help you get a healthy perspective about the relationship is crucial. However, being grateful doesn’t mean ignoring what went wrong.
How to Use Gratitude to Move on From a Breakup
Get yourself in a relaxed and mindful state by doing a self-care routine. Take a bath, meditate, put on soothing music, and make yourself a cup of tea.
Take out your journal or a piece of paper and reflect on your relationship. For more tips on journaling, check out my other blog post 4 Simple Ways to Start Journaling. Be as honest as possible and use these prompts to get you started:
- What did I learn from this relationship?
- The characteristics that I appreciate from my ex are…
- What was my fondest memory together?
- How will this break-up make me stronger and smarter for future relationships?
- What did I learn about myself and my needs?
Looking back at your answers, what do you notice? Probably a lot of learning opportunities a lot of great memories. Instead of associating these memories with pain and hurt, be grateful that they happened. Once you’re able to feel the gratitude of your experiences, you can then identify what didn’t work well in the relationship and what you will do differently next time. In other words, you will be able to accurately assess the relationship for what it was when you’re not clouded by regret and emotional judgement.
Still having a hard time with journaling? Grab my guided journal “How to Heal Your Heart in 30 Days” to fast-track your breakup recovery process.
Again, the purpose of using gratitude is not to ignore the things that didn’t work in your relationship. It will help you get in the right mind-space to gain a deeper perspective and help with the healing process.
