5 Essential Breakup Tips for Anxiously Attached Women

Honey, let me tell you, ladies with anxious attachments have interesting way of dealing with their breakups…

Let’s talk about something that many of us have experienced: the painful process of going through a breakup, especially when you have an anxious attachment style. It can be a real struggle, and I know firsthand just how hard it can be. During my first breakup, I was so scared that I wouldn’t find anyone else. I felt like I needed to do whatever I could to get back with him. So I went against my better judgment and tried to “win” him back. Spoiler: it didn’t work and I ended up even more heartbroken than before. If I could turn back time, here’s what I would have told my heartbroken self…

Breakup Tips for Anxiously Attached Women:

1. Allow yourself to feel the emotions

For someone with an anxious attachment style, a breakup can trigger a range of intense emotions. They may feel overwhelmed with anxiety and fear of abandonment. It’s important to acknowledge and validate these emotions and allow oneself to feel them instead of suppressing them. It’s crucial to understand that it’s normal to feel sad, angry, confused, and hurt after a breakup. So many of us have been there, and it’s important to know that you’re not the only one who feels this way. It’s okay to feel all of these emotions and to struggle with them. By recognizing and processing these emotions, one can gain a sense of closure and move towards healing.

Try this: Journaling can be an effective way to process emotions. Write down your thoughts and feelings about the breakup without judgment. Allow yourself to feel the emotions as you write them down.

2. Take care of yourself

During a breakup, it’s easy to neglect self-care, but it’s crucial for mental health, especially for those with anxious attachment. Taking care of yourself can help you manage the negative emotions that come up after a breakup. Practicing self-care can also help you build self-esteem and confidence.

Try this: Make a self-care plan that includes activities such as taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk in nature, or reading a book. Make sure to prioritize these activities in your daily routine.

3. Practice self-compassion

Anxious attachment individuals may blame themselves for the breakup and criticize themselves for not being “good enough.” It’s essential to practice self-compassion by treating oneself with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. Being self-compassionate can help you feel more emotionally regulated and cope with the challenges that come with a breakup.

Try this: When you notice self-criticism, take a moment to pause and practice self-compassion. Tell yourself kind and supportive statements, such as “I’m doing the best I can,” “I’m worthy of love and respect,” and “I’m allowed to make mistakes.”

4. Set healthy boundaries

For those with anxious attachment, it can be challenging to set boundaries with an ex-partner. However, it’s essential to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Be clear about your needs and what you’re comfortable with, and don’t be afraid to say no or take a break from contact if necessary.

Try this: Write down your boundaries and communicate them to your ex-partner. Be firm and clear about what you need, and don’t compromise on your boundaries.

5. Seek support

It’s important to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist during a breakup, especially for those with anxious attachment. Having someone to talk to and process your emotions with can be incredibly helpful during this challenging time. A registered counsellor can also help you understand your attachment style and provide tools to improve your relationships in the future.

Try this: Reach out to a trusted friend or family member and schedule a time to talk. Alternatively, consider seeking support from a counsellor who specializes in breakups or attachment-related issues.

One of the hardest parts is trying to make sense of what happened. You might find yourself obsessing over the little things, wondering why it all went wrong. So, if you’re going through a breakup right now, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re not alone. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions, and don’t beat yourself up for it. And remember, with time and self-care, you will start to feel better and find your way back to happiness.